Suicide
by Beauty Queen Piper
Summary: Susan Pevensie - had lost everything. At least, that's what she realized now. Narnia - Now, that is a silly made-up story, Susan would never believe. All that tales Lucy told, they can't possibly be real. It's nice for them to add Susan in their fantasy world but you can't get obsessed with these things! But what if all answers came back to a Narnia b Professor Kirke's house?


**AN:** Hey there. Okay, so here is my new story. Well, technically, not new. I found this on my desktop so I decided to put it here. So it's about Susan Pevensie after the Last Battle when she realizes that her family and friends died. It's a One-Shot because I really don't know what to write after this (Read the story and you'll figure out why :p) Well, you can give me some ideas and I could make it into a chapter-story. So..enjoy! :)

**Gone **– Susan Pevensie knew that her family, her cousin Eustace and his friend Jill, her two friends Professor Kirke and Lady Polly are gone. They're dead. Susan can't believe it. She didn't even say 'goodbye' to them. The last thing she ever said to her siblings was 'Narnia? I really hope you would grow up and stop talking about that nonsense. My best friend Angelica and her brother use to have their own imaginary world like our Narnia but they aren't as stupid as you. They stopped believing in it ages ago. I simply can't stand having 3 siblings chatting all day about an imaginary world. Angelica and her brother are younger than you, Pete!" After that, the train came off the railroad and *poof* her siblings are gone alongside her friends, cousin and her cousin's friend. Later, she realized that her parents were killed in that same accident because they were on that train which broke her heart further.

**Peter Pevensie** ~ Susan remembered her older brother. He was in her life since she was born. Susan remembered how Peter often bossed her around, even before she knew how to talk. It's always 'because I'm older than you'. Peter may be bossy until the last moment of his life and Susan didn't like his bossiness but Susan could still smile at times Peter orders her around. It wasn't all bad, sometimes it helped her. He was brave, that Susan was sure of. Was it last week? There was this simply humongous spider on her bed and she was frightened. Susan remembered there was a time when she wasn't scared of these insects and animals…oh wait, it's gone. Maybe it's just an illusion. Anyway, Peter killed it with his bare hands. When did Peter become this brave? The summer. The time when they stayed at Professor Kirke's house. Right. There must be something magical going on then.

Susan was now 21 and stuffed her mind with things like boys, make-up and all sorts of things an ordinary teenager would think of but Susan's siblings were never exactly considered as 'ordinary' because of their old imaginary world Narnia. Susan knew how Peter, Edmund and Lucy's mind were full of mythical creatures and wonderful but false wars that they 'battled' in. Their minds were also filled with family togetherness. Susan was never fond of that after she had more parties to go with her friends. Now, Susan wished to have her siblings mind. Their mind may be full of memories about each other and Susan herself. Susan felt bad, because when they're thinking about her, she was thinking about how to make herself prettier. She could hardly find anything except a few significant things she and her siblings did together (which of course none of them has anything to do with Narnia). It's now hard to recall those little details they did while her mind thought of that glamorous lip-gloss she had seen on a commercial.

**Edmund Pevensie** – Susan remembered him always being a pain of an ass until he was around 10-11. He was annoying, doubting and always teasing people younger than him, especially Lucy. Susan can't remember what happened clearly that time they stayed in the Professor's house but she knew that's when the silly Narnia imaginary land was made up by Lucy. Susan remembered the Professor's house. They were only suppose to stay there for one summer, but somehow, Susan tends to think she stayed in that house for a much longer time. I mean, she remembered vaguely this icy wonderland and snow only comes in Winter, right? They must have stayed for at least a year. Anyhow, after that 'summer', Edmund seems to be…tolerable Unlike the times before that Summer, he actually listens to orders etc. Susan supposed she and Edmund got along really well ever since. She would miss Ed a lot. Nobody can replace him.

**Lucy Pevensie** – Lucy the youngest of the Pevensie family. One that Susan remembered most. Maybe it was because she was a girl and they tend to have more to discuss about. Nah, forget about it. Lucy is too imaginative to care about things Susan loved. Lucy was always adventurous and fun to have around. Sadly, Susan know that Lucy was the one who spread that annoying Narnia story. Somehow, Lucy had a talent then to persuade people to believe Narnia. Oh my gosh, when did Lucy get that talent? When Lucy was 5, she tried persuading everyone that she had a unicorn. Nobody believes her, she's a horrible liar. Right, why does every answer to her question goes back to a) Professor Kirke's house or b) Narnia? Although Lucy could be tiresome, Susan would never forget her little sister.

**Parents** – The most annoying thing about parents to Susan are not their tendency to ban things from their children or making them do homework unlike many other children. Susan always feels impatient as her parents encourage Susan's siblings to believe in their imaginary country. They didn't mind when Peter, Edmund and Lucy chatter all day long about Narnia in the car. Susan could tell that her parents didn't believe in Narnia either but they tolerant the Narnia talk. Susan loved her parents in many ways and couldn't wish for better parents. It wasn't until now, Susan had realized so. Susan regretted that she had spent so many time of her life worrying about her beauty instead of spending time with her parents. Now her parents are gone, those moments with her parents could never come back.

**Archery** – Susan was always good in archery. After her stay in the Professor's house she was anyway. She could shoot without missing for some strange reason. She was sure there wasn't any archery boards are bows and arrows for her to practise in the Professor's house. It was most peculiar. Susan had won many archery competitions and was proud of her though she didn't recall practising. Her siblings told her that in Narnia, she was also an excellent archer and she had a fantastic bow given by Father Christmas. Father Christmas? Susan would laugh, who would still believe in such thing? Anyway, Susan didn't care much about Narnia but it was always nice to be marked as good in one thing in your siblings' imaginary land.

**Narnia** – They said that Susan was there in Narnia too. She was one of the Queens alongside her siblings. They had told her over and over again a details description of Narnia. It was a long story to remember. Susan marvelled at how they could still remember the story they had told everybody about Narnia everytime and all three of them could say the same thing. At least, it didn't have extra bits in it. It was amazing how the story all 3 of them told could be put together and it matches.

**Losing your mind** – Now, days had passed since they died. Susan could still remember the horrifying scream Lucy gave as the train hit her. Professor Kirke gave a small groan but died immediately. Lady Polly's frail body had a heart attack as she saw the train charging towards her. Peter looked as if he drawn a sword as his hands faced the train like he's holding something but made a gesture that seemed like he dropped the thing as he fell to the ground. Edmund started to run but the train ran quicker as it ran over Edmund. Eustace and Jill's faces were pale white as they saw the train coming towards them. They didn't make any movements of escaping but stood there beside each other with their mouth open. Susan remembered every detail clearly. Her friends had a sense to leave her alone for a week already. Susan didn't mind. For the first time in many years, Susan wanted to be alone. People said that she was starting to lose her mind. Susan didn't mind. It was easier to tolerate people calling you names than your family and friends dying. Susan can't bear all of this coming towards her. It's like a wave. Once, you may have built a wonderful sand castle near the waves but the next second, the waves would come tear everything down. Sometimes, Susan still can't believe that her family died. She would wake up and say to herself 'It's all a dream. A terrible nightmare. My parents would be in the kitchen cooking breakfast while Lucy, Edmund and Peter would be talking about Narnia again.' It never worked. The whole house was empty when Susan checked. Sometimes, Susan would pinch herself and tell herself it's just a very convincing dream and she would wake up any moment. Sadly, she never did. It's all real. Susan wanted to die. She can't bear this loneliness. Susan climbed outside her window at 3am in the morning when nobody is on the street before she could have second thoughts. She hated second thoughts, it often slowed her down and maybe stopped her from doing things. She stood at the end of her windowsill ready to jump.

**Maybe** - Maybe Narnia was real. Lucy said they went there the first time during their stay in Professor Kirke's house. Bits and pieces started to put themselves together. Edmund told her 'she lost faith in Narnia'. Lost faith in what? Something not true? But maybe, she did lost faith in Narnia. The imaginary world she had been blocking out for a long time. Stop it, she told herself. One part of her told her to stop thinking and suicide before her mind goes on about her sibling's crazy stories. But another part told her to wait. Susan can hear Peter faintly "My sister Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia."Wait WHAT? Of course she's not a friend of some made-up world. It's like being friends with non existing Martians! Susan didn't wait anymore, she leaped and felt herself falling down slowly. A faint image of a lion became stronger and stronger in front of her eyes. Is she hallucinating? Instead, she called out softly, "Aslan?"


End file.
